The Balad of Surreal Justice,Lawrence Black and Jetboy by Rexkwondoe

As he sat in his living room contemplating his shortcomings and life failures a single tear ran down his nose.As it trickled down it dripped on to his one and only friend.Who is that friend?Why Twinkie the Kid of course!He was there when he was just a wee lad and never was picked to join the other kids to play.He was there at his High School prom when all the other girls looked the other way in disgust.Twinkie the Kid didn't.And when he finally decided to make something of himself and join the Police Dept.Twinkie the Kid was there.But that is where things went awry.The years of friendship with Twinkie the Kid made putting on the uniform troublesome.Plus the actual duties of a police officer seemed to complicated for our friend.When he tried to hold his service revolver the grease from his hands(Permanently embedded into them from years of twinkie handling)always made it difficult to grasp and control the piece.His life had been controlled by his twinkie addiction!"Why have you done this to me!"He shouted as he threw his beloved twinkie against the wall! Tears noew streamed down his face as he watched his one and only friend slide down the wall.Hurriedly he ran over to retrieve his companion."Twinkie it's not your fault I have failed at life"wiping away the tears from his eyes "It's the everyone else fault!" Thus he began his vindictive crusade against the good men and women in uniform who protect us from the dregs of society. His one and only friend was his downfall.Let this be a lesson to anyone who reads this.Instead of stuffing your face with mass produced cream filled treats.Try eating a carrot or apple or something.