The Geddon Report

Huff and Puff on the Bluff!!

2011-03-08T08:55:00.000-08:00

The 9th annual Huff and Puff on the Bluff race will happen this Saturday. Over the years the race has been synonymous with bad weather. The past two years we have had rain during the race and three years ago snow postponed the race until June where runners met higher than usual temps. What will this year have in store for us? Who know but rest assure myself and the faithful will still line up at Sheffield Jr. High School at 9.00 am for the start of the race. I hope to see a lot of you there. Either as racers or spectators cheering us on our 15K (9.3 mile) quest. And remember there is still time to register if you are interested http://www.huffnpuff15k.com/. Hope to see you there!

New book on the city of florence

2011-03-02T14:19:00.000-08:00

Looks like Debra Glass and Larry Fisher have produced an excellent book on the city of Florence. In fact they also have a Facebook page devoted to it http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/pages/Remembering-Florence/132926906761700. This book is a great source to anyone interested in our area. I wish that more books would come out like Remembering Tuscumbia, Remembering Sheffield or even Remembering Muscle Shoals. Just a little hint to anyone interested.

I`m BACK!!!!!

2011-02-28T13:46:00.000-08:00

After a 5 month layoff I`m finally back!!!!!!!! Yes my devoted Geddonites I`m back and ready to blog.

Deshler Tigers 1990 State Champs!

2010-09-27T17:41:00.000-07:00

Hello my beloved Geddonites! Just got word that my old football team will be honored at this years homecoming game! I was a member of the 1990 Deshler Tigers! We went 15-0 that year and defeated T.R. Miller in an exciting state final that went down in the history books as one of the greatest championship games ever! We won in overtime 28 to 27 when the kicker for T.R. Miller missed the extra point that would have tied the game.
So if you were a member of the team or if you know a member of the team then get the word out. We need as many of the guys there to be honored.
The homecoming game will be held Oct. 15th. and we will meet at the field house at 6: 30pm. Then we will proceed to the field where will be honored. Also the captains of the team will go out with today`s captains for the coin toss.
It has been 20 years since our team has been together and I hope everyone can make it. See you there!

Football Season is just around the corner!!

2010-08-01T15:16:00.000-07:00

My friends since Football Season is just around the corner let`s let the great Andy Griffith give us his take on his first football experience...Enjoy

When you are laid to rest

2010-07-29T01:12:00.000-07:00

I know this is a subject many do not want to think about. Many of you are saying to yourselves it`s too early to think about my own demise. Why I`m not even 50 yet. But after visiting a friend who had passed on it reminds one of their life and what they will leave behind. Now you might be thinking "What do you mean leave behind"?. Well when I walked around the room there were many pictures of my friend. There were pictures of him in his High School days. Some of his military career. And then there were pictures of him and his family. Then I thought to myself what pictures are there of me out there? Suddenly my mind raced to every picture I have ruined by making a face or generally acted like a goof. I thought is this how I would want people to remember me? As this guy who couldn`t make a serious effort to take a good picture. But then I thought Wait a moment. When the inevitable comes and I pass on what will people want to see. A bunch of pictures of a nice smiling Geddon with a fake smile trying to take a nice picture. Or would they want to see the real me. The me they remembered. The Geddon who snarled his lip whenever a camera was ponted at him. The one of me pointing at the camera and make a goofy smile. After thinking about it I believe my friends and family would want to remember the real me. The big goofy lug who just wanted to make people laugh and smile.

Favorite villain / douchebag actors.

2010-07-12T11:50:00.000-07:00

Now I`m not saying that these actors are villains / douchebags in real life just that they play excellent V/D roles. Here is my list of my favorite V/D actors

1. Dabney Coleman Dabney has played football executives,CEOs,and spies with a zeal for villainy most men do not cherish. Only Dabney can play these roles and make you actually like him. Kudos to Mr. Coleman!

2. William Atherton William has play DBs in numerous of roles. Notably his portrayal of a sleazy news anchor in the Die Hard series and my personal favorite Prof. Jerry Hathaway from the cult classic Real Genius.

3. Alan Rickman. Alan Rickman has played a evil Landowner and Aborigine killer in Quigly Down Under to the Sheriff of Nottingham with such evil glee that it is impossible to root against him. Although his character in the Harry Potter movies ends up being a hero his take on Prof. Snape is evilly delightful.

4. Joe Pesci. Mainly known for his portrayal of psychopathic mobsters he has portrayed them with a sense of humor. It`s hard to hate a guy who just shot a guy in the head and comes up with a witty one liner.

5.Gene Hackman. Although he isn`t known for playing villains he has set the watermark for scheming cowardly villains everywhere for his portrayal of Lex Luthor in Superman. He set the standard for slimey villains that is still copied today.Especially with Kevin Spacey`s reprising the role in 2006`s Superman.

Well folks that`s my top five.If you have any you would like to add to my list then drop me a line in the comment section. I love hearing from you guys but I only ask one thing. Please respond in English and not Chinese.

I`m Back!!

2010-07-12T11:16:00.000-07:00

Sorry folks but when life gets in the way it`s hard to maintain a blog. But now I`m back and will start posting more. Many thanks to my readers for sending me over the 1,000 hit`s mark. I know it isn`t much but I am surprised that many people are interested in my opinion/nuttiness. So thanks for your interest. It really means a lot to me. By the way does anyone understand Chinese? Apparently I had 9 comments on my High School reunion and all are in Chinese. Hmmmm I`m wondering if they are planning something????

20 years have gone by

2010-06-06T15:53:00.000-07:00

Yes my friends it has been 20 years since my classmates and I have left the hollowed grounds of Deshler High School and we are planning a reunion. So if any of you geddonites just happen to be members of my class then we need your address. You can do so by logging onto http://www.deshlerreunion.com/index.html or by facebook http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/group.php?gid=111863712168512&ref=ts. Let us know where you are and what you are doing. October is the Reunion date so get yourself counted among the few, the proud,the Deshler Alumni.

The ugly side of politics

2010-06-05T11:38:00.000-07:00

As everyone knows the democratic primary for Colbert County District Judge has just been completed and the end result is a run off between Chad Coker and Polly Ruggles. Both seem to be good candidates but I do take exception with Ruggles comments in regards of being a parent and not being a parent. But putting that aside both are fine people. But What I would like to talk about is the horrible mudslinging that came from the Milam camp. Milam should be ashamed of himself for what he has done to area politics. He has brought everything that the public hates to our own back yard. His two main targets were Tina Miller Parker and Chad Coker. . Although Mr. Coker weathered the arrows well, Ms. Parker did not and it is a shame. To those of you on the Times Daily Forum who had spread lies about Ms. Parker my only hope is that you find some forgiveness for your actions. I am pleased that our county saw through his and his supporter`s tactics and chose not to support him in his race.

A Day of Rememberance

2010-05-29T09:29:00.000-07:00

Let`s not forget what Memorial Day represents.Many have paid the ultimate sacrifice so that we could be free. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6I4GDhHgxU

Also here is a picture of my Grandfather who died in a little town called Elsenburn Ridge,Belgium during the Battle of the Bulge

I know it is a cliche but Freedom isn`t Free. It was purchased with blood.

I`m not a runner...

2010-05-10T11:20:00.000-07:00

I have heard this comment a number of times and I use to believe the same thing.In high school I wasn`t a runner. I was a football player. I despised running. During camp the coaches would wake us up at 6 am for a mile run. I complained the whole way.After school I dabbled in different sports like softball,flag football and yes pro wrestling.None of those sports required running and I was happy. Then after getting older I left those sports and started putting on weight. Yes your beloved Geddon became a portly fellow. I was happy with my shape and didn`t see any need to run. Why running was for people who were being chased by someone or something. Then 911 happened and I felt the need to serve, but at my weight there was no way I would be accepted. At that time I decided that I would give running a try to drop the weight. I thought I would run a couple of miles a day and the weight would melt off then I could stop running, problem solved or so I thought. But that first 2 weeks were murder and I thought I would never do it. I was walking more than I ran. How could I lose the weight if I couldn`t even finish a single mile without losing my breath. Then one day I started my run and for some reason I passed mile one and I felt good. In fact I kept running until I passed two and half miles that day. It was the farthest I had ever ran and it felt great! I lost the weight and joined the ANG. And So I went back to my sedentary lifestyle. I added a few pounds again but it was controllable. Then I started working full time for my base and we were given time during the day to exercise. Well I started running again with a friend at my base. We had a 3 1/2 mile course plotted out with hills and everything that would discourage me from ever wanting to pick up this crazy activity again. We started and before long we were running the entire course! We started adding miles! Now I was truly hooked and have loved it ever since.
Now if you ever tell yourself that running is for skinny people and not for you then listen to this former plus size fellow. You can do it! In fact there is a great program called the http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml that has done wonders for people. It`s a combination of walking and running until you are fit enough to run a 5K. I hope that if you decide to take up running as a hobby or fitness program then make the most of it and enjoy yourself.

OriginalBama has a blog now! http://www.obscorner.blogspot.com . Welcome to the blogging world OB!

A good man to represent us!

2010-04-29T17:46:00.000-07:00

Today my friends I have found out that Dr. Gerald Freeman will be running for the soon to be vacated state senate seat of Bobby Denton. I could not endorse a finer candidate than Dr. Freeman. He is a man of integrity and character and Lord knows we need them in Montgomery.

Thanks for a great race

2010-04-29T17:42:00.000-07:00

I would like to thank the organizer and volunteers who put together this year`s Swampers 5K and 1 mile fun run. As usual it was a great event(even with the bad weather)and a lot of fun. I would like to thank Josh Aycock for once again putting on a great race. AndIi would also like to thank the city of Muscle Shoals who donated their middle school gym for refreshments and the awards ceremony.

6th Annual Swampers 5K & 1-Mile Fun Run

2010-04-23T21:30:00.000-07:00

How is it going my beloved Geddontes!!! Sorry for the long delays but I am back and ready to start blogging again. Tomorrow is the 6th annual Swampers 5K & 1 mile fun run. The event will be at the Muscle Shoals middle School ( the old high school). The 5K will start at 8:00 am and the 1 mile fun run will start at 9:05. Also there will be a live band at the finish and 91.3 the FIX will be there. And if you are so inclined to join us runners registration will be open until 7:30am. The race benefits the Muscle Shoals Civitan Club. Hope to see many of you there and who knows maybe you will be able to pick me out of the crowd but beware only a very few know who the Kraken really is.

Sorry for the long delay

2010-04-17T17:39:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the long delay folks but due to work obligations I have not been able to update The Geddon Report as often as I would like. But no need to worry my work schedule is slowly getting back to normal and I will be posting away shortly. I would like to give a big shout out to http://shoalandaspeaks.blogspot.com for linking my blog along with other blogs in our area. I consider it an honor to be counted amongst these great blogs.
So my friends you can expect to see more of the same humor ,politics, and down right weirdness you`ve come to expect from your beloved Geddon.

HUFF &PUFF ON THE BLUFF!

2010-03-12T17:33:00.000-08:00

In case you didn`t know the 8th annual HUFF & PUFF 15K race is being held tomorrow at the Sheffield recreation center.There is usually a good turnout and the weather looks to be perfect tomorrow for the race.So I encourage everyone of my beloved Geddonites to come out and support these racers.And who knows you might catch a glimpse of the all to elusive Geddon for your troubles.

See you there!

A Family Reunites

2010-03-01T13:38:00.001-08:00

As I walk across the frozen ground I am in awe of the site before me.Rows upon rows of white crosses and star of Davids dominate the landscape. I walk to what could be called a reunion of sorts.

All my life I was told of the story of my grandfather,the father of four who went to Europe to fight the good fight. I was always at a loss for words when ever I saw his medals and the flag that was sent to my grandmother.My aunts and uncle always wanted to travel over seas to see his grave site but the opportunity never presented itself.Today was the day that one of his descendants would visit his resting place.

As I come to the gates of Henri Chappelle cemetery I walk to a greeter who is seated in the lobby.She is a very nice Belgian lady who ask me if i have relatives here and if she could help.I give her my grandfather`s name and she looks up his location.Then we walk outside.It is a cold and windy day.Much like it may have felt the day he fell. We exchange pleasantries until we come to his grave site. She places an American flag by his tombstone and rubs sand from Omaha beach across his name.She does this for his name to stand out.Then she looks at me smiles and walks away.For the moment I am speechless. What do I say? What can I say? Then it comes to me.My aunt who was his last surviving child passed away while I was in Europe.His family is finally reunited after 60 years apart. I look upon this as a family reunion and I smile.

So Long Hound Dog Blues

2010-02-23T20:25:00.000-08:00

We lost a good man but Heaven gained a beautiful soul.

"SnowmaGEDDON"

2010-02-11T16:03:00.000-08:00

Across the eastern part of the United Sates "Snowmageddon" has hit with the ferocity of the fabled Kraken. Now I know what some of you are thinking.."Snowmageddon... What did the Atlantic Seaboard ever do to our beloved Geddon in order for his wrath to rain down upon them in a hail of frozen fury?".Well my friends let me assure you that I was not responsible for the mess that they find themselves in.In fact I wish them well and hope they shovel out in due time.

Qualifications of a judge

2010-02-08T13:20:00.000-08:00

As Judge Carpenter retires our fair county is looking for a new District Judge.There are a slew of candidates out there vying for the opportunity to serve us as his replacement. Now we must ask ourselves what should the qualifications of our new judge be? Should that person be an established attorney with deep ties to the community and the established power base? Should that person`s judgement be influenced by life experiences and emotion? Should the person be a parent? Well according to the Alabama Secretary of State Beth Chapman here are the qualifications...

Must be licensed to practice law in Alabama. Must have resided in the circuit in which candidate seeks to serve for one year prior to election. No one may be elected or appointed to a judicial office after reaching the age of 70. Must have been licensed by the Alabama State Bar Association a combined total of 3 years or more, or by any other state bar association for a combined total of 3 years or more, prior to beginning a term of office or appointment to serve a vacant term of office.(from the Al.sec. of state`s site)

If you ask me a judge must follow the CONSTITUTION. A judge must not be persuaded by family,friends,business associates,or emotion.A judge must offer their opinions based on the law. So many bad decisions have been passed because a judge was persuaded by a huckster in a nice suit(can we say John Edwards?) appealing to their emotional side.A judge must disassociate themselves with this.

This is why I am voting for Tina Miller Parker for District Judge.I believe she is someone who will follow the the Constitution and reinforce the public`s belief in it.

Something is rotten in the state of Denmark (Anderson)

2010-01-26T09:05:00.000-08:00

If you are following the news then you might have heard that there are questions about Anderson`s Police Chief and his practices.I believe that a full investigation by the ABI should be conducted on the matter.Whenever someone is put in a position as important as Police Chief then there should be a system of checks and balances for that individual.And I believe that an outside independent entity (such as the ABI) would be the appropriate bureau to do that investigation.Let`s hope that this matter is cleared up and the citizen`s of Anderson get a Police Chief they can truly get behind.

What example are you leaving our kids?

2010-01-18T10:56:00.000-08:00

The other day I took my son to a UNA basketball game.While there we enjoyed the pre game warm up by both teams and my son even got a hug from Una(the mascot not the real thing).Well the game was about to start when the announcer asked everyone to stand for the National anthem.As they started I noticed something peculiar. Four men who were standing around us were being disrespectful to the anthem.Two refused to put their hands over their hearts and the other two refused to remove their caps.I pointed this out to my son and told him that you should always remove your cap and put your hand over your heart when the anthem is played.

Well my son decided he wanted to leave at half time so we got up and left (UNA was losing by a large margin).But on the way home we passed the Suntrust Building on Court St. and low and behold there was Old Glory perched atop the building.Sadly though our country`s flag,a flag that has stood for freedom and liberty through out the world was in tatters.

Folks please think about things like this.If you have a flag that is damaged please take it to a American Legion post or to the Boy Scouts.They will dispose of it properly.In fact the American Legion post in Florence has a flag drop off box just for this.And also if your are in a situation where the anthem is played please offer the appropriate response.Because there are young eyes who are watching what you are doing.What kind of example do you want to leave?

Hypocrisy

2010-01-10T11:38:00.000-08:00

You know it`s a funny thing.A couple of weeks ago the editor of this paper railed against the city of Florence for not giving the Times Daily city e-mails about the purchase of the old Florence Country Club.Then when the city established a "Media Czar" the editor railed some more and even wrote a editorial parodying the situation.But now we find that the shoe is on the other foot.When posters criticize or ask for moderation they are treated the exact same way the paper was treated by the city of Florence.They are either told to take a hike or banned for daring to question their authority. Now I am a simple man but it seems to me that the editor and others of the paper (while they scream and rend their clothes about the city)Are in themselves wallowing in their hypocrisy

I would like to thank ReexKwonDo72 for this post he posted on the Times Daily Forum site.It seems that we cannot take this paper seriously if they will not practice what they preach.

More have Fallen

2010-01-08T16:01:00.000-08:00

Well it seems that the Times Daily has struck another blow against free speech! For a paper that claims to be for the people. They really have shown that in all actuality they could care less about what the great unwashed(us) think.Well in their relentless pursuit to kill any free thought they have banned more of the free thinkers of the Times Daily.Here are the latest victims.

Original Bama
Yankeegramma
Autumn 1964
MeKirk
DixieChik

Yes folks this is a sad state of affairs at the Times Daily.One wonders if they really cared about their readers at all. As an aside let us know here at The Geddon Report if there are anymore that have been banned...No Henchbroads allowed (wink)

The Dissection of an ASSCLOWN

2010-01-05T18:37:00.000-08:00

Webster defines an “ass” as: a stupid, obstinate, or perverse person, incompetent. Similarly, they define “clown” as being an ill-bred person, a fool, a person who habitually plays the buffoon. I have to say though my all time favorite definitions for ASSCLOWN come from the www.urbandictionary.com : Such as “one, who…is a skid mark in society’s collective underwear” as well as “an untalented schmuck”. One contributor to the Urban Dictionary’s astounding 34 definitions of ASSCLOWN truly hit close to hometown (newspaper forum) when he referenced an ASSCLOWN as “a troll who frequents chat rooms (forums) with the express intent to annoy the regulars with ilk, foul language and total disgust and rudeness”.
To give credit where it’s due the term ASSCLOWN was coined by WCW wrestler Chris Jericho. He often referred to no talent wrestlers as ASSCLOWNS. I would extend that “no talent” descriptor to include “lacks originality”. An ASSCLOWN is not capable of coming up with original thoughts, instead, they tend to steal or plagiarize a story or theme from someone or someones with true talent and humor.
The best way to handle an ASSCLOWN is to ignore them at all cost. They feed on attention like THE LEGENDARY HENCHBROAD feeds on men’s souls. (NOTE: Henchbroad IS defined in the Urban Dictionary as well. Swell site, check it out some time!)
Fear not, ASSCLOWNS as easy to spot. Just look for the person who is trying the hardest to be clever or funny, but is failing so miserably you “almost” want to feel sorry for them. DO NOT FEEL SORRY FOR THEM!!!
Other common names for an ASSCLOWN include (but are not limited to): Asshat, Idgit, Moron, Douchbag, Troll, Henchbroad and/or Henchbitch.

You Have Been Warned!!!

Thank you to Geddon for allowing me to guest post on his informative and original blog.
Terra Prince

Henchie has a definition!

2010-01-04T08:38:00.000-08:00

Well it seems that our local legend is starting to gain some notoriety! In fact her name has even popped up on Urbandictionary with a little help from yours truly. I wonder if the Henchbroad has made her way onto any other media outlets?

For The Fallen of the Times Daily Forum

2009-12-19T20:12:00.000-08:00

If you are a regular reader of the Times Daily Forum then you may have noticed that a lot of long standing members have been banned from the paper.In fact many were canned without even chance to redeem themselves for whatever sin they committed.So in remembrance of the fallen a bumper sticker was made in their honor.Also here is a list of some of the members.Banned but not forgotten

Kindred
PuF
Deepfat
Zippadeedoodah
Wild Irish Prose
The Bald Guy
Basement Cat
Papatim00
Bookworm
Salty Dog
Philly Phan
Go Fish
King Jullien
Big Red Afro
LMM
And last but not least yours truly Geddon97

My apologies to Rexkwondo(e)

2009-12-15T13:16:00.000-08:00

My apologies to the Times Daily forum contributor Rexkwondo72.Apparently I misspelled his name when i posted his story on my blog.Once again my apologies to Rex.

The Dead Horse Chronicles

2009-12-13T16:14:00.000-08:00

Little known and yet finally compiled list of Dead Horse Facts. We would like to thank the following TimesDaily Forum posters for their input: Budsfarm, Tenn on my mind, lynnblount, rexkwondo72, mekirk2, SassyKims, Trutooit-II, FirenzeVeritas, Mr. Jones & Sheldivr. Also, I would like to thank my beautiful and talented wife/editor for compiling the 8 page forum thread into a single list.

Budsfarm:
1. What dead horse?
2. Buy a stronger whip and beat the dead horse.
3. Change riders.
4. Contact Personnel and demand an explanation.
5. Appoint a committee to study the dead horse.
6. Assemble a PowerPoint dead horse presentation.
7. Has the dead horse's warranty expired?
8. Visit subsidiaries to see how they ride dead horses.
9. Upgrade dead horse working conditions.
10. Have President Obama declare "the dead horse has already begun to awaken."
11. Increase standards to include dead horses.
12. Attend a Dead Horse Motivational Seminar
13. Assign the dead horse to Marketing.
14. Assign the dead horse to R&D.
15. Retrofit the horse with new tack.
16. Shorten the track.
17. Create a training session to increase the riders' load share.
18. Rotate the dead horse into FIFO inventory.
19. Discard the saddle; ride the dead horse bareback.
20. Point the dead horse in the opposite direction and note how well he maintains his position.
21. Reclassify the dead horse as living-impaired.
22. Change the form so it reads: "This horse is not dead."
23. Innovate benchmarks for industry dead-horse leaders.
24. Hire outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
25. Assign the dead horse to the graveyard shift.
26. Compare current riding to riding before horse acquisition.
27. Tighten the dead horse's cinch.
28. Factor in dead horse savings re food, water, and maintenance.
29. Harness several dead horses together for increased speed.
30. Appoint a Tiger Team to revive the dead horse.
31.T his dead horse was procured with cost as an independent variable."
32. Relocate the dead horse.
33. Send the dead horse to a continuing education course.
34. Send the dead horse to a convention.
35. Send the dead horse on vacation.
36. Authorize the dead horse for behavioral counseling under the company HMO.
37. Donate the dead horse to a recognized charity, deducting its full original cost.
38. Compare your dead horse's performance to other companies' dead horses.
39. Render unto Caesar.
40. Hire Arthur Anderson, Inc. to count your herd.
41. Provide additional funding to increase the dead horse's performance.
42. Threaten the dead horse with termination.
43. Downsize the dead horse.
44. Downsize the dead horse and retain it as a contract hire.
45. Downsize the dead horse and replace it with an entry-level dead horse at one-third the salary.
46. Discharge the dead horse for cause.
47. Do a time management study to see if lighter riders would improve productivity.
48. Purchase an after-market product to make dead horses run faster.
49. Declare that a dead horse has lower overhead and therefore runs faster.
50. Proactively initiate parametric discounted cashflow/return on investment dead horse projections under varying microeconomic scenarios.
51. Issue a corporate mission statement to develop more "passion" for the art of horse riding.
52. List the dead horse as a new asset.
53. Survey the state of dead horses in today's business environment.
54. Repackage the dead horse.
55. Reassign fault to the dead horse's breeding.
56. Form a quality focus group to find profitable uses for dead horses.
57. Survey business school casebooks for dead horse models.
58. Require at least two more dead horses before this dead horse is validated as a dead horse source.
59. Re-engineer riding styles.
60. Renormalize standardized evaluations of riding ability.
61. Brand the dead horse and commission a music video for its introduction.
62. Base manager productivity evaluations upon the dead horse's performance.
63. Award the dead horse to a retiree.
64. Rewrite the expected performance requirements for dead horses.
65. Apply standards and metrics to the riding of dead horses.
66. Is it time for the company picnic?
67. Your horse was visiting the World Trade Center on 11 September 2001, wasn't it?
68. Write an SBIR grant application for national defense studies of necrofillya.
69. Declare the dead horse to be a trade secret.
70. Execute a major reorganization including one-time dead horse writeoffs.
71. Gather other dead animals and announce a diversity program.
72. Promote the dead horse to a supervisory position.
73. Write off the dead horse as a Y2K incompatibility.
74. Dead Horse, Emeritus.
75. Call it a virtual horse dot com and spin off an e-business plus IPO.
76. Alert Homeland Security that your horse has been killed by Muslim terrorists and demand FEMA compensation.
77. Apply for a 7 figure federal grant to conduct an environmental impact study concerning methane gas produced by the dead horse and its effects on global warming.
78. Write a book about the anticipated odor of the dead horse. Name the book something like “An Inconvenient Truth” and receive the Noble Peace Prize for environmental issues.
79. Appoint Jesse Jackson Expired Equine Czar because of his career in horse manure. And beating dead horses.

Tenn on my mind:
80. Your committee reassess' the entire matter. Then makes the dead horse CEO.

Lynnblount:
81. The President implements a national set of rules and guidelines for the educational system to ensure that "no dead horse is left behind."
82. PETA stages a protest in Washington D.C. demanding that all dead horses be treated humanely.

Budsfarm:
83. Request bail-out for dead horses.
84. Have ACORN register dead horse to vote.

Rexkwondo72:
85.Dead horse receives his/her own show on MSNBC.And manages to surpass Olberman's ratings within a week.
86.Interviewed by Barbara Walters in ABC special.No response from horse when asked "If you we're a tree what kind of tree would you be?"
87.Horse caught in love triangle with Sarah Jessica Parker and a Hilary Swank.

Budsfarm:
88. Clinton appears on TV, points his finger at the camera, and swears he did not have sex with a dead horse.
89. Clinton impeached for lying.

Lynnblount:
90. A documentary is released proclaiming the dead horse a national hero and giving credit to the carcass for invention of the internet.

Budsfarm:
91. Neil Armstrong: “That’s one small step for man. One giant leap for a dead horse.”
92. The International Olympic Committee ruled Chicago ineligible for possible host site. Reason given was the host is allowed to enter a new Olympic sport and it was determined that the Chicago representative's favorite sport of constantly blaming of the previous administration amounted to beating a dead horse which is prohibited by IOC equestrian rules.

Lynnblount:
93. Tiger Woods was injured in a dead horse accident early Friday near his mansion in a gated waterfront community, authorities said. Windermere Police Chief Daniel Saylor says that Woods' wife, Elin Nordegren Woods, then smashed the dead horse with a golf club repeatedly.

FirenzeVeritas:
94. Reporters question horse's morality due to rumors it once pulled carriages in Las Vegas. Several White House reporters delve into horse's alleged lack of condom usage.

Rexkwondo72:
95.Dead horse will appear in an off Broadway production of Neil Simon's the Odd Couple with Nathan Lane as Oscar and the Dead Horse as Felix!

Tenn on my mind:
96. Gloria Allred has been retained as lawyer for Dead Horse. It is reported that D. H. is resting, at an undisclosed location. Ms. Allred, tells the press that, "my client is seeking help for a presciption drug addiction". Rumor has it, this began after a car accident. He failed the breath test at the time. Was fined and spent 24 hours in jail.

FirenzeVeritas:
97. Mug shot of Dead Horse appears on TMZ. Dead Horse rumored to have fired Gloria Allred and retained lawguy07. NF holds press conference in which he assails TD for not giving Dead Horse enough respect.
98. Geddon makes Facebook page for Dead Horse (who is unable to type for himself since he's dead) to present Dead Horse's case.

Rexkwondo72:
99.After 6 months in rehab Dead Horse stars in own reality T.V. show on VH1. Show is unexpectantly canceled because of inner turmoil with Dead Horse and co star Danny Bonaducci.

Trutooit-II:
100. Autopsy of Dead Horse reveals horde of smuggled diamonds/drugs.

Tenn on my mind:
101. Dead Horse has announced he will start, sexual identity reassignment therapy. DH, states "I have always felt that I was a filly in a stallion's body". "This is something I have dealt with for some time". This came as a big shock to DH's, several, ex-mates. Although one, who asked for anonymity, "there was several times I caught him wearing my bridle, I just thought it was a phase". Reassignment surgery is planned, sometime next year.

Trutooit-II:
102. Dead Horse cames name to Deidre and asks for understanding. Deidre Horse considered for Victoria's Secret shoot.

Tenn on my mind:
103. News flash!! Generalissimo Francisco Franco, who once owned, Dead/Deidre Horse is still dead.

Lynnblount:
104. BEIJING, Dec. 3 (Xinhuanet) -- The first nominees of the 2010 Grammys were announced on Thursday as the Recording Academy unveiled a handful of nominations for its 109 categories during a prime-time TV special.
This year's hits as Beyonce's "Single Ladies (Put a Dead Horse On It)" and Lady Gaga's "Dead Horse Poker Face" became Grammy contenders for song of the year, along with Taylor Swift's "You Belong With Me, Dead Horse".

Tenn on my mind:
105. In a related news item. Guess who the Academy just put on the list for an Oscar? If you guessed Dead Horse, you are correct. For a remarkable appearance, in the remake of "They Shoot Horses, Don't They?", Hollywood is all abuzz with excitment. Nothing like this, says one insider, since Lassie did "Dog Day Afternoon".

Trutooit:
106. Katie Perry sings "I kissed a Dead Horse" and brings down the grammys. Deidre (formerly known as Dead) horse rumored to be dating Russell Brand.
107. Local Tuscmbia police chief arrested for hit and run. Latest reports say Dead/Deidre Horse is dead and well, but mail box is in intensive care.

Rexkwondo72:
108. BCS bowls have been announced and it looks like Dead/Diedre Horse will play the University of Florida in the Sugar Bowl.When asked how he felt of his opponent Tim Tebow was heard saying "I`m totaly crying over here!(sniff)"

mekirk2:
109. Mysterymeat begins posting campaign against dead horse, states he is single hoofedly responsible for building and maintaining the 'blue wall.'

Trutooit-II:
110. NF protests Dead Horse at grammys and is arrested and placed in lockup with Tony Logan.
111. Meanwhile, Universal pictures calls up the ghost of Richard Harris to star in its new blockbuster "A man called dead horse."
112. Killen family hires Tim Case to file copyright infringement on the name "Dead Horse." No word on the similar title "Deidre Horse."

Rexkwondo72:
113. While accepting an award for Best Dead Animal of the Year Dead Horse is unexpectedly interrupted by Kayne West. Who declares "No disrespect. I know you are a good Dead Horse and all, but Dead Possum was the best Dead animal this Year!"

Tenn on my mind:
114. Deidre Horse, has tossed her hat into the political arena. Word is, Ms. Horse will run as an Independent. In her words, "a buggie in every barn and new hay in every trough". Tired of being labeled as " just an old grey mare", she will start a campaign for the eradication of Hoof and Mouth disease. Her first attempt in helping Joe Biden, was a total failure. Can a book signing be very far in her future? Title of new book, "Dreams of My Sire".

Sheldivr:
115. Watch for it on the NY Times Best Seller List, in January, "The Dead Horse Chronicles"...

SassyKims:
116. Surreal Justice posts video purported to be Sassy Kims tasing a dead horse after a traffic stop.
Sassy successfully shoots video down and explains that the officer was only attempting use an defibrillator to revive the horse, making SJ look foolish as usual.

Tenn on my mind:
117. Deidre Horse and her partner Fred Astaire, he's dead you know, will appear on the new season of, Dancing With The Stars. They are beginning an intense training program. Fred states, "since I was a "hoofer" all my life, this seems like a natural fit".

Trutooit-II:
118. Ginger Rogers states she's been dead longer than Ms. Horse and should have been chosen as Fred's partner. Says, "Anyone can beat Dead Deidre Horse, but it takes a real star to make it entertainment."

Mr. Jones:
119. I found this cool dead horse on eBay! Really cheap, too!
120. Can I get Dead Horse's Facebook contact?

Tenn on my mind:
121. There is no truth to the story that, Dead Horse is being deported! DH, reports that immigration enforcement raided his stable. Apparently, DH was born in Nicaragua. What ICE was unaware of, was the fact his sire and mare were both American Standard Bred. DH, produced his birth certificate and after conferring with his lawyer, all charges were dropped.
122. NEWS FLASH.......Dead Horse just killed Surreal Justice. The 911 call reveals that SJ, in a drunken stupor, attacked lawguy07. DH, was quoted as telling the operator. "I will shoot him grave yard dead", just before the shot was heard.

Trutooit-II:
123. Grand jury refuses to indict Dead Horse in murder of SJ. PresBO presents DH with Congressional Medal of Honor.

Lynnblount:
124. BREAKING NEWS: Secret diary is found in the estate of the late Michael Jackson. Excerpts reveal that the song "Beat It" was actually a love song that the King of Pop performed to express his obsession with a dead horse.

Trutooit-II:
125. News Flash, Dead Horse to march in Christmas parade tonight to protest carriage rides in Wilson Park.

FirenzeVeritas:
126. Bulletin: Lawguy holds press conference on courthouse steps to announce billion dollar suit against Tuscumbia Police Chief Tony Logan. According to Lawguy, Logan was directly responsible for recent injuries suffered by Dead Horse, stating, "While Dead Horse is not really any more dead, DH will suffer all its unlife from scars left by the mailbox."

The Balad of Surreal Justice,Lawrence Black and Jetboy by Rexkwondoe

2009-11-30T17:39:00.000-08:00

As he sat in his living room contemplating his shortcomings and life failures a single tear ran down his nose.As it trickled down it dripped on to his one and only friend.Who is that friend?Why Twinkie the Kid of course!He was there when he was just a wee lad and never was picked to join the other kids to play.He was there at his High School prom when all the other girls looked the other way in disgust.Twinkie the Kid didn't.And when he finally decided to make something of himself and join the Police Dept.Twinkie the Kid was there.But that is where things went awry.The years of friendship with Twinkie the Kid made putting on the uniform troublesome.Plus the actual duties of a police officer seemed to complicated for our friend.When he tried to hold his service revolver the grease from his hands(Permanently embedded into them from years of twinkie handling)always made it difficult to grasp and control the piece.His life had been controlled by his twinkie addiction!"Why have you done this to me!"He shouted as he threw his beloved twinkie against the wall! Tears noew streamed down his face as he watched his one and only friend slide down the wall.Hurriedly he ran over to retrieve his companion."Twinkie it's not your fault I have failed at life"wiping away the tears from his eyes "It's the everyone else fault!" Thus he began his vindictive crusade against the good men and women in uniform who protect us from the dregs of society. His one and only friend was his downfall.Let this be a lesson to anyone who reads this.Instead of stuffing your face with mass produced cream filled treats.Try eating a carrot or apple or something.

The Legend of the Henchbroad

2009-11-20T15:50:00.000-08:00

It was a shadowy, fog filled night as Bobby and I traveled across the marshy plane. Many stories had been written of men who traveled this lonely stretch of earth and never returned. But we didn’t believe it. We didn’t subscribe to old wives tales. In fact we considered ourselves intellectuals. Men of science and reason. How could we fall victim to the rambling stories of foolish men who lacked our educational prowess?”! No"! We told ourselves. We would prove once and for all that the legend of the Henchbroad didn’t exist!

We made camp around 10:00 pm. Two hours before the supposed beast was to appear. As we sat by our campfire we shared stories of our experiences with the townsfolk. How that over the years we tried to reason with them and convince them of their follies. We tried to explain the disappearances with logic. For instance when Billy McGillicuty came up missing we told the simpletons that he simply left town for a better job. Or when Ted Spectler went for a walk and never came back. We reasoned that he must have hitchhiked to Monroeville to visit his mother and decided to stay. But our efforts were to no avail. So tonight we decided to put an end to this mumbo jumbo of the Henchbroad once and for all.

As midnight creped closer we were feeling pretty sure of ourselves. Why we have been here almost two hours and not a sound. Not even a stirring of the leaves which covered the ground. We were filled with a sense of pride and bravado as we chose the words we would tell everyone when we returned the next morning. Then we heard it. A shriek that would kill the very soul of a man. Bobby looked at me and asked 'Was that a coyote...Yes it must be a coyote only a coyote would" RAWWWRRRREEEEEKKKKKKSSSSSS!!!! We heard it again but it was closer and louder! We quickly gathered our supplies and headed back to town. As we hurried toward our homes we heard something behind us. Not quite footsteps but something more sinister and primal. As our hurried walk turn into a trot the sound got closer. We didn’t dare look behind us in fear that some woodland beast would overtake us. The faster we traveled the quicker the sound came toward us until we were at a all out run! At this point is when I tripped on a root and fell flat on my face. As I slowly rolled over to assess my injuries I felt a presence over me. In fact it was a stench which permeated the air like a bad perfume. It was a mixture of Charlie and cigarette butts. Only a creature from the very depths of Hell could give off such an aroma. I reluctantly looked up and came face to face with the HENCHBROAD! Shear terror gripped at my heart as I looked at the hoofed beast! And at this point it began to speak..."HI!"."AHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRR"! I screamed as I scrambled away in fear of my life! As I ran for my life I could hear the clumping of her hooves as they dug into the ground gaining on me. But then It happened. The Succubus slowed and began to wease. Then she began to cough. Aha! Apparently the Henchbroads diet of diet cokes, slim jims, cigarettes, and men’s souls had caught up with her. She slowly turned away and slinked back into the darkness. Possibly to go back to her lair to revive herself with Twinkies and ho ho’s. Whatever the case I was free and returned to my home.

My friends I survived this ordeal in order to warn you. Never doubt the existence of a Henchbroad.

The Surgery Was a Success!

2009-11-15T18:51:00.000-08:00

The pressure is on.....My hands must be steady and true.....A bead of sweat runs down my cheek.Will my patient survive?I`m not sure,but I must do my best.Let`s see I `ve never done a double transplant like this before.I check my patient and a blank expression is on her face.I wonder what the ramifications will be if I botch this surgery.Will she ever be accepted by society again?Or will she be thrown aside,discarded like a piece of old rubbish.And what of her new owner.Will she be able to sleep through the night knowing that I have failed her?AHA!One limb back in place,but now comes the tricky part getting the other limb back into place.The time is ticking away.My hands are starting to cramp.Can i turn to my partner?No I must do this alone.I must be the one to heal her.YES!The other limb is back in place.Now to tie off the the suture...careful....careful...I must tie a secure knot.Whew! the procedure is a success.Now to take the patient back to her loving owner.As I walk into the room I am filled with a sense of accomplishment and pride as I hear the owner say "Thank you Daddy for fixing my Barbie Doll!"I respond with a reassuring "It was nothing Sweetie,now remember her legs will not bend that way so be careful."Yes Dr.Geddon performed another successful double leg reattachment surgery.

Veteren`s Day

2009-11-11T18:07:00.001-08:00

When i was a child I always loved to go to my Grandmother`s house.Of course mimmaw always spoiled me and my brothers. And she definitely made the best biscuits in Alabama but there was another reason why I loved to go to her house.I always wanted to see the two medals my grandfather was awarded during WWII (Bronze Star and Purple Heart)and I wanted to see the American flag they sent her because my grandfather didn`t get come home.He fell on a frozen piece of earth called Elsenburn Ridge in Belgium.He was killed during the Battle of the Bulge.He left behind a wife and four children.
I had always wanted to join the military in some way but life always seemed to interfere with my plans.Then on one fateful Tuesday morning our country was attacked and my fate was sealed.I joined the ALANG and I have not regretted my decision.Some people might say it`s corny to love your country and to be proud to wear the uniform but I know that one day(hopefully in the far future)That I too will have the honor of having our flag draped across my coffin.

2009-11-03T01:15:00.001-08:00

"Rock deplaned this stormy, rainy afternoon; and as he did so, the heavens parted and the sun shone through illuminating the sky with a double rainbow. And Rock scowled". S.Gross

Dirt Squirrels

2009-10-28T12:07:00.000-07:00

Hello my loyal Geddonites.It`s been a few days since my last post because of the work schedule here.Which leads me to my topic today.What do we do in our spare time?Well let me fill in.Many people do different things.Some guys catch up on their reading., usually there is a library on base.Others tend to use the time to work out.I myself have added more running into my routine,while others pump the iron.And then there are those who find a hobby to keep themselves occupied.hobbies like learning to play the guitar,or photography.

But sometimes hobbies,sports,or reading are not enough to quench idle minds and hands.Sometimes a person has to do something drastic to break the monotony .Something so drastic that it could change their and their families lives forever! What is it you ask.What is it that could shake the very foundations of your life and the life of others?One simple word.....Mustache!Yes sometimes we can get so bored that we grow a mustache!Yes my friends we grow a dirt squirrel on our faces to pass the time.Now you may be asking "Hey Geddon what`s wrong with growing a mustache?".Well my friends there is nothing wrong with growing a mustache.In fact many successful men and women have grown mustaches(i.e. Tom Selleck,Sam Elliot,and Bea Arthur) but to the deployed member his mustache looks less like Magnum and more like we accidentally smeared grease on our upper lip.

That`s my report for today my Geddonites and remember be a good Geddonite be an informed Geddonite.And foe God`s sake grow a mustache!

I need a haircut

2009-10-24T06:30:00.000-07:00

Hello my Geddonites.Today I found myself in a predicament I`m in the military in a foreign land and I need a haircut.Now back home every red blooded American man and woman has their favorite barber or stylist, but when you are away from home the chances of getting what you want are slim to none.But my friends no need to worry for me because I went to my friendly neighborhood Turkish barber.Now you may be asking "Geddon are you sure about this?I mean if Old Stoney dosn`t cut my hair it will never look right".Well my friends you can never go wrong with these masters of the shears.As you sit in the seat you are instantly made to feel like a king.First the shears come out and they go to work.Shaping your head until it`s at the length you want.Then after creating their base they break out their scissors and then the action begins.A flurry of metal and hair go about you as you are mesmerized by their mastery.And before you know it VOILA! a perfect military cut,But wait they are not finished.Next comes the eyebrows and nose hairs..Yes my friends they venture where mortal barbers never dare to go.After every bit of hair is trimmed and swept away you think to yourself "Wow what a haircut"! But my friends he is not finished theres more.Now begins the pampering.First the forehead rubdown where any headache or sinus troubles a miraculously rubbed away.Then the shoulder rub which will help alleviate the rest of the days ills.Then all to sudden it`s over and he takes off your smock and asks "Okay habi"?And you respond with a thumbs up and leave his palace of comfort feeling like a million dollars.My friends if you are ever in this part of the world you must indulge yourself with a visit to the barber.And when you do tell them Geddon sent you.

Troops attacked by unholy beast

2009-10-23T10:34:00.000-07:00

Hello my Geddonites!Today breaking news on The Geddon Report! You may have seen reports on FOX NEWS and CNN and also seen the briefings from the Pentagon but I will let you in the real story!My brothers in arms came under attack last night from a very cunning and cute enemy.Yes I said cute with her little whiskers and pink little nose but deadly all the same.It happened at shift change when our unsuspecting heroes were lured into Fluffy`s lair!As the men were finishing the daily duties they turned off a large A/C unit they were using to cool them selves off while maintaining their aircraft.As two certain senior NCOs were directing the new shift in their duties a peculiar sound came from the unit,a muffled ..meow.Our two fearless leaders decided to investigate.As they opened the door the saw the tiniest,cutest kitten in the world.Well needless to say our brave men felt pity one the helpless little creature...that is just what the little beast wanted.as one of our heroes reached down to pick up the the cuddly bundle she unleashed Hell on our men! Claws,Teeth,Hissing,Spitting....oh the horror!Only by sheer luck and ANG training was our guys able to escape with their lives!And what happened to the menace with furry ears? Not sure but we are ever vigilant of her return.Good night my Geddonites and remember be a good Geddonite be an informed Geddonite.

My trip to Antioch

2009-10-20T10:12:00.000-07:00

Hello my Geddonites.It`s been a few days since my last dispatch so I wanted to tell you guys about my trip to Antioch. This was my first trip into the country of Turkey and let me tell you it was very interesting. First stop on our trip was a place called Snake Castle.This was a castle built by the crusaders over a 1000 years ago.Very impressive structure.It was built on top of a ridge that overlooks the valley.There was a network of castles in the area and they communicated by fire to warn each other of attacks.The next castle was Black Castle.It was smaller than Snake Castle but was also built on a ridge.And the last castle was built by the French.It is in the shape of an Octagon and has a tower on every corner.This castle was more of a fort type of structure.In fact after the French left it the Ottoman`s took it over and built a Mosque and bath house on to it.In fact the bath house was still in use up till 1995.

After the castle tours we went into Antioch and enjoyed a very delicious lunch.I had a Adana Kabob.After we ate we walked around the area around the restaurant for a while.The area was full of little shops and cafes.Very European and relaxed.

The Snake Castle

After lunch we traveled to the main part of the city to it`s museum.The museum had ancient Roman Mosaics and statues.it was an amazing experience to touch an object that over 2000 years ago someone else touched.It was almost like I was touching the hand of the artist themselves.

After the museum we went to the first church in Antioch founded by Peter.The church is actually a cave in the side of a mountain outside the city.The church is located in the same place where the Romans buried their dead. It is said Peter founded the church there because it was away from the city and easily hidden from the authorities because of the persecutions going on.My friends being inside this church gave me a feeling of peace.I imagined myself as part of Peter`s congregation hearing the gospel for the first time. I imagined what it must have been like to sit and be taught by Peter and also Paul two men who experienced Christ so intimately.It was truly a moving experience. Later when the crusaders arrived they built a entrance into the cave and painted a fresco of Christ on the cave wall.But sadly the fresco has long since vanished.

This was truly a fun trip and very informative and moving.I only regret was that my wife and children were not there to share the experience with me. That is the Geddon Report for today.Be a good Geddonite be an informed Geddonite.

War is Hell

2009-10-14T10:20:00.000-07:00

Hello Geddonites! Today I was thinking have you ever heard of near death experiences?You know the kind where someone has died and experienced what is either Heaven or Hell.On the Heaven side people say that usually there is a tunnel with a white light at the end.And they usually they see or hear their loved ones who have passed on.Then there is the other side of the coin...Hell...Well my friends I think I might have experienced the other side of the coin today without actually dieing.

Have you ever been in a hot van with a person who knows everything and dosn`t mind letting you know that he does?Well my friends that was my own personal Hell today.In fact he started quoting Forrest Gump to boot.....War is Hell my devoted friends...War is Hell.

Monkey cornered in a shower

2009-10-12T10:06:00.000-07:00

My friends the other day I had a dream.Needless to say it was a weird dream but what really stuck out in my mind was a quote from my dream......"Even the best army in the world cannot defeat a monkey cornered in a shower".....Why this was said in my dream I have no idea but I am sure it is important :-)

Trip to the city

2009-10-12T10:00:00.000-07:00

Hello my Geddonites!Well I`m still out of the country but I have been able to leave the base a couple of times.In fact I went to Adana today and visited the mosque and see the city.My friends the city here is very European.In fact the only time I felt in danger was when i tried to cross the street(the vehicles here tend to make their own lanes).Friday I hope to go on a day trip.If i get to go I will fill you in on all of the details.

First installment of the Geddon Report

2009-10-10T11:53:00.000-07:00

Hello all of my Geddonites.This is the first installment of the Geddon Report.Well I`m out of the country right now and let me tell you i cannot wait too get back home to my beautiful wife and children.I love serving my country and seeing visiting other countries and experiencing their culture but home is where the heart is.